ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WORLD

...(at the desk)..Hi! I'm an electronic passenger...

..(man in the body shop) Hi luv, 'v u got that cream tha makes all the wrinckles on yo face disappear? tha magic cream? is it called number 7 or sumethin?
..( body shop assistant)..sir, this is not Boots, it's the body shop..

..(very angry flushed pax) I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE CHEF D'ESCALE!!
(my brain, silently) good idea, I've never met him myself!

you sweat, you dribble, you give your precious minutes to them, you challenge the screen, you ask the whole department for info (including cleaning Eastern european team and cab drivers outside), you calculate and recalculate an upgrade from Q to K in neverendin FQPs and FQDs...

result? if you on the phone... thanks and they are gone, forever...

at the airport? wow. They go and then come back with a nice Xmas card and a box of golden wrapped round fine chocolates!!!!!

luxury. pleased and satisfied.

now, shall i sell them on e-bay or eat them all in a tv session just after a nice chicken tikka massala?

pax are soooooooo nice sometimes

Finally, after 4 weeks of pain and creams and drops and colourful 'tears' I can see again.

And, amazingly, I now know what it was, confirmed by a specialized doctor at the hospital: The Ugliness of the Pax.

It's their fault, they're all ugly!! A WHOLE month at the desk without seeing a goodlooking fellow. Hello???!! Are we crazy or what!

I am starting a new incentive for recruiting new Arrogant Plus customers: 10.000 miles bonus if guy (yep. sexual discrimination. bring it on) is gorgeous and charming. Another 10.000 if hot date is spontaneously offered.

Deal or no deal?

a man all stressed out comes to the desk at throws his shiny FF card at me..

"I am member of your Arrogant Plus frequent flyer program and I want to fly on the earlier flight"
"Sir, I am sorry, the 5 o clock flight is full for the specific fare you purchased (..b class)"
"What????!!! My colleague is an Arrogant Minus frequent flyer and got a seat a 5 o'clock!!!"
"Sir, the flexibility of the tickets doesn't depend on the Arrogant Plus card, but on the type of ticket you purchased..."
"Ok then (very arrogantly upset) next time I'll fly Arrogant airways then!!!!"

FFoff then!